P.A.N.K (Proffessional Aunty No Kids)

This month I was invited by our ward magazine director to review a past General conference talk. The talk I chose was Elder Andersen's " Children" from October 2011. It brought with it some challenges as the topic can be touchy but it was valuable.
In summary I learned four things:
1. Children are important to our Heavenly Father and if you can, you should have them
2. Ultimately the decision is between only three people- you, your spouse and the Lord
3. People should not be judgmental or critical about others decision to have or not have children because... refer to #2.
4. Be wary of evaluating your readiness to start a family by the way it is " commonly" done.

Point #4 particularly spoke to me because we are going on three years of marriage and have no children- sometimes referred to as DANK (Dual income And No Kids)

Our decision to not have children (yet) has been met with reactions ranging from pity to contempt. Why are childless women always portrayed in movies as life's losers? Even though it is supposed to be your own choice, I have found that everyone has an opinion, especially members in the church.
" You shouldn't focus so much on your career", " It's selfish not to", " Do you hate kids?" and my personal favourite " Well if you aren't going to have kids, you should ask yourself why you got married?"

Another tactic used by some of my friends with children is to blab on about the bliss of motherhood, or say things like " You'll understand when you have kids". I suppose I am used to all of those by now, but the one comment that leaves me wondering is " If you don't start having them soon, you'll regret it", I have heard this so many times lately that I'm starting to believe it myself. Will not having children early be my bigggest, most irreversible regret?

For some women I know the desire to become a mother was innate. Speaking for myself, my ovaries very rarely let out a maternal urge. I hardly ever feel the need to cuddle or coo over a baby that is brought into Relief society. I also know some women who felt pressured into having children, and are now miserable. There are numerous books online about this very topic " All joy and No fun: Why parents hate parenting" " No Kids: 40 good reasons not to have kids" .

Why is it that women have fought for the right to become working mums, solo mums, mothers in same sex relatiosnhips and older mothers but we still question those who choose to opt OUT of motherhood? I think that people still cling to the stereotype of womanhood. We are expected to have children and want to have children, and if we don't it disrupts everything we know about gender.

I would like some of my friends and even family members to know what a struggle it is to maintain relationships with you when we are percieved as being "selfish". It is difficult to talk about all the exciting things in our life and the exciting things that we can do, to pepole who have kids and can't just drop things and go off to places.You made your choice, we made ours, so please don't judge us.

I know that families are central to God's eternal plan and that one day we will start our own. I am so glad I had the chance to re-read/watch Elder Andesen's talk. It reminded me to ask, have faith to act, trust and move forward.

Doing it

Have you heard the saying " There is no better time than now". Last month I wrote my 30 before 30 list and I guess there is no better time than now to get on it.

Today, I registered for the Whangamata half marathon on September 1st. That gives me four months to hit the road and start training. Wish me luck!

I'm sexy and I know it

Some people don't have the gift of gaining weight.. trust me, I have the gift. I gained four kilos while on our last vacation. Four big, fatty kilos in three weeks. But, I am happy to say that I am almost back at the weight I was before we left, and my body is tighter and firmer- YAY!

When I finally achieve my goal weight I think I am going to invest in one of these babies. 

Look at those killer results! 

Two times the trouble

My nephew Daluwyn is the cutest two year old in the whole world. Seriously. And I am not saying that because I am his aunty and have a bias. Some babies are just ugly. Gasp! Did I really stay that? Yes, and you know it is true you're just afraid to admit it. Anyway, two years have passed in a flash, and now my sweet little nephew is looking more like a little boy instead of a baby. Which makes me sad and happy all at the same time.

Yesterday we threw a party to celebrate his second birthday- because I love planning parties and because I love him.

I couldn't be bothered making a cake thought it would be creative if the guests decorated their own cup cake and used those as the cake.
It turned out really well:

Happy Birthday my darling man

30 before 30

Have you ever stopped for a second and realized that time is just passing you by? Time that can never be bought back, no matter how much money you make. Time that can’t be saved for a rainy day, no matter how good you are at budgeting. This weekend I thought about how fast this year is going, and it hit me. I’m almost 30. How did that happen? All the things I thought I would get around to " later". What if later has already come and passed me by!

Thus, I have created a 30 before 30 list. 30 things I've always wanted to do before my 30th birthday. A list of trips I have wanted to take, challenges I've been dreaming of taking on, skills I've been planning to learn and personal breakthrough's I am hoping to have.

In no particular order:  

1. Become a mother
2. See WICKED
3. Run another half marathon or marathon
4. See the Grand Canyon
5. Own a kick-a piece of furniture that has not been owned by anyone else.
6. Take up dance classes
7. Start a Novel
8. Go vegetarian for a month
9. Protest for something worthwhile
10. Fly first class
11. Be able to hold a conversation in another language ( sign language included)
12. Successfully make Macaroons
13. Own a designer dress that makes me feel like the only girl in the world
14. Spend New years eve in Times square
15. Live abroad
16. Become a qualified aerobics instructor
17. Speed date
18. Party at Mardi Gras in New Orleans
19. Create a 5 course meal Master chef style
20.  Conquer the 30 day Bikram yoga challenge
21. Ride a motorcycle on my own
22. Sew a decent article of clothing
23. Complete a Masters
24. Go on a classic American road trip
25. Eat a fresh, warm, eclair straight from the oven in Paris
26. Shoot something
27. Own a pair of leopard print pumps
28. Test drive a sports car
29. Quit my job and do something I love ( this one scares me even as I write it)
30. Plan an Epic 30th birthday bash 

House of the Lord

This first week back to work has been pretty awesome, partly because we got to attend the temple this weekend. The last time we did a session, we were in the Salt Lake Temple which was a beautiful experience. It's amazing to think that in todays world structures are built with the help of machines, tractors and forklifts.. yet this beautiful Temple was built before any of that machinery came into existence. After walking the temple grounds I would have to say this temple is one of my favourites.

Yesterday Tuks and I were able to attend a moring session in the Hamilton New Zealand temple. It is something I have grown to love and I now look forward to our monthy visits. Following our session, my family  (and my extended family) gathered to support our cousin Lane and her husband Josh as they were sealed to their baby daughter for time and all eternity.

How fortunate we are for temple blessings! As I watched my cousin kneel at the altar, I was reminded of our own sealing two years ago. I couldn't help reflecting upon my love for my husband and all he stands for in my life. I am greatful, every day, that I had enough sense to marry this loyal and loving man. And I am even more greatful that I get to keep him for eternity!

On Saturday we will be privileged to enter the temple again to witness the sealing of our friends Ben and Tracy to their sweet daughter Aley. I am looking forward to celebrating with them but also being able to be in the temple again. At the end of a busy week nothing brings the same amount of peace as entering the House of the Lord.

Sin City

Some of my friends told me that I wouldn't enjoy Vegas because I don't gamble or drink. I mean isn't
" Nevada Mormon" an oxymoron?

Now that I have been there I understand their apprehension, but I still loved it. It was a totally different experience and something that everyone needs to do. The energy in the city reminded me of Hong Kong, and after a week of visiting I still got a rush driving down the strip on our final night.

The streets were a great place for people watching- families with small children, guys out on stag nights, kids on spring break. And you can't forget those who hold the lowest position in the employment ladder: the people who hand out the cards for escorts and strippers. ( Is there any job in the world that requires less skill???)

Part of what made Vegas so wonderful was visiting Tuks' family that live there. The Snow family took us to an exotic zoo where I actually held hands with and fed baby kangaroo's and Tuks cuddled a monkey. We spent an afternoon swimming in the creek at Warm Springs and ate summer BBQ food. We never would have been able to experience these things if we were just typical tourist visiting Vegas, so I am grateful to the Snow's for their hospitality.

While Vegas was not my favorite city on our travels I still loved the experience and am glad we went.
Have you been to Vegas? I would love to hear your thoughts!